HELPING MAKE YOUR CHRONIC PAIN JOURNEY EASIER

The Exhaustion of Resilience

When Strength Becomes a Burden

"I Am Tired of Being Resilient"—The Unseen Weight of Chronic Pain

During a talk I gave last week, a person living with chronic pain raised their hand and said:

"I am tired of being resilient."

Their words hit me hard.

My response? Yes. Absolutely. You are. We all are.

Because resilience isn’t always a badge of honor. Sometimes, it’s just survival. And it’s exhausting.

The Illusion of Choice

We talk about resilience like it’s a choice—something you consciously decide to embody, like a mantra or a mindset shift. But for those living with chronic pain, resilience isn’t about motivation or self-discipline. It’s about necessity. It’s about bouncing back even when you never wanted to fall in the first place.

Chronic pain doesn’t ask for permission. It doesn’t wait for the right time. It doesn’t give you space to prepare. It arrives, it stays, and it demands that you adapt to its presence. So, we do. Not because we want to, but because we have no other option.

And over time, that adaptation becomes invisible to the outside world. To others, we’re just handling it. But inside? Inside, we’re exhausted.

The Hidden Toll of Constant Strength

The world loves stories of resilience—how people overcome, how they rise despite adversity. But what happens when resilience is never-ending?

What happens when there’s no finish line?

For those living with chronic pain, resilience isn't about overcoming and moving on. It's about persisting in a reality that never stops demanding more. And that persistence comes at a cost:

🔹 Emotional burnout – The energy it takes to constantly advocate for yourself, to manage flare-ups, to fight for proper care—it’s draining.

🔹 Physical exhaustion – Pain is relentless, and so is the effort required to function through it.

🔹 Mental fatigue – The pressure to "stay strong" even when all you want to do is rest.

Resilience Shouldn’t Mean Doing It Alone

When someone says, “I am tired of being resilient,” they are not saying they are giving up. They are saying:

"I need space to breathe."

"I need support that doesn’t just praise my strength but helps me carry the weight."

"I need a world that sees my pain without requiring me to perform endurance as proof of my worth."

Resilience isn’t about pushing through alone. It’s about finding moments of relief, of softness, of support—so you don’t always have to carry the weight yourself.

You Deserve More Than Just Survival

If you are tired of being resilient, I see you. I hear you. And I want you to know:

It’s okay to be tired.

It’s okay to rest.

It’s okay to ask for help.

Resilience is not just about enduring pain—it’s about creating a life where you are supported, seen, and valued beyond your ability to endure.

And that starts with giving yourself permission to say:

"Today, I don’t want to be strong. And that’s okay."

Let’s build a world where resilience doesn’t mean isolation—where we uplift, support, and lighten each other’s load.

Because you deserve more than just survival. You deserve ease, comfort, and care.

#chronicpain #understandingpain #painawareness #peersforpain #invisibleillness #mindfulness #stigma #support #pain #peer #resilience

Michelle Marikos’ fall from a balcony in her early twenties, and her subsequent decades long debilitating chronic pain, inspired her to launch Moving Through Chronic Pain and her PEER™ Method programs to facilitate deeper connections between those living with chronic pain and their community of providers, employers, and family members.

Michelle Marikos, Founder & CEO
Moving Through Chronic Pain